Our lives pretty much stopped after the night of Sunday, March 8. I should have probably known that the end was near. Steve loved his iPhone very much and spent a great deal of time looking at it. On that evening, it ran out of battery power and remained uncharged. He never looked at it again.
He didn't need his wallet or keys that week, obviously. After he died, I got out his phone to look at the pictures, but realized just a couple of days ago that I hadn't found his wallet. I quickly located it in his murse (Man-Purse=Murse), an awesome little gray satchel that his brother recently gave him.
I hoped there was something interesting in his wallet...but nothing. Steve rarely carried cash, but I did find a $20 bill. Even though I think I gave him that $20, it felt kind of strange when I put it into my purse. I should probably just split it between the piggy banks, because it feels like I stole it from him without asking.
Pretty weird, eh? :)
Not weird, at all. After my father-in-law died, my husband couldn't/wouldn't go through his dad's wallet for the longest time. He said it felt like such an invasion of privacy. And... It reinforced the loss. It will be 4 years this week and there are times it still doesn't seem like he should be gone. My heart goes out to you. M.
ReplyDeleteHmmm. The simple things seem so skewed. Why is that? Our hearts and heads are just not in sync and the ordinary seems foreign, and the exotic seems every day. As the earth spins on its axis, the moments of discovery and thought processes must seem to spin counter active to what should be. The confusion will not last forever. Things will find their balance and fall into place. In fact....once it happens, you may not even notice it for a while. Yeah....that 'new normal' which is odd and foreign will soon become that silent friend your topsy-turvy world was seeking. Keep writing. Posting. Reflecting. These are the best oars in your uncharted waters.
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